


i can feel your power

by SofieChappell



Series: Body and Soul [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Dom Magnus Bane, Dom/sub, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Sex Magic, Smut, Sub Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 13:51:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14619972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SofieChappell/pseuds/SofieChappell
Summary: “You liked me restraining your hands?” asks Magnus, voice calm and seemingly unsurprised. There is no judgement, no disgust that Alec’s subconscious was expecting. Rationally, he knows it’s nothing huge and that Magnus loves and accepts him fully. Still, sometimes it feels like not every part of Alec’s brain has gotten the memo yet.“Yes. It felt so good to think you have all this power over me. Like, really good.” He shouldn’t be blushing about it.





	i can feel your power

Alec loves Magnus.

Sometimes, when he feels particularly sappy, he thinks he _is_ the love he feels for Magnus. When he starts thinking about it and letting himself just sit there and _feel_ it, it is overwhelming and all-consuming, but in a calm and peaceful way. When he looks at Magnus and feels the love thrumming in his veins, he feels whole and right in a way he didn’t think possible not so long ago.

He loves seeing his sleepy smile first thing in the morning. He loves his warm hugs, his sharp wit, his focused frown over complicated potions. He loves his gentleness with children and ruthlessness with those who cross him. He loves laughing with Magnus, eating out with him, travelling the world with him, quietly cuddling on a couch with him...

And Alec _loves_ having sex with Magnus.

He is a skilled and giving lover, endlessly patient and kind in the face of Alec’s inexperience. Alec thinks himself unbelievably lucky, and couldn’t wish for a better introductory experience than he got - and every experience afterwards.

He moans and groans as Magnus takes his dick into his mouth, worshipping his length, slowly driving him insane. It felt like a century has passed since his back hit those red silk sheets - a hazy, suffocating, ecstatic century. He can’t remember the life before, not really. He knows his day was hard and stressful, but it feels surreal now, more dream than memory.

He can’t help himself, his hands find their way into Magnus’ dishevelled hair, and he tries to find the strength to grab a fistful and show Magnus what he wants and how he wants it. He knows he shouldn’t be doing it. Magnus was pretty insistent on letting him pamper Alec tonight, and has batted away his hands a few times before. But it’s too much and yet not enough and Alec wants. He wants, wants, _wants_ …

Something merciless pulls at his arms, dragging them up, over Alec’s head. He finds his wrist pinned to the pillow, unable to move them an inch. His biceps strain to a point of pain. A thought hits him - these must be some magical binds Magnus put on him and he can't break out of them no matter how much he tries. He is completely at his mercy, he is bound, helpless and defenceless, he is…

He comes without a warning, without a sound, the orgasm’s strength blinding him. When he comes back around, muscles all over his body are still twitching, and his bones feel like they are made of lead. Magnus plants thousands of tiny kisses on his right hip bone and runs his hand soothingly over his outer thigh.

He feels like he should analyse what just happened. Fleetingly, he even thinks he wants to, but he can’t. He needs to somehow make Magnus feel at least as good as he just did, and he needs to do it _now_.

***

They lay plastered together, trading gentle caresses and basking in the shared body heat, but Alec can’t let go, can’t relax and enjoy the afterglow like he normally would.

“You know you can tell me everything. Is something bothering you?” Magnus’ gentle inquiry is whisper barely louder than their still heavy breathing. Silence falls between them as Alec looks for words to explain his emotions.

“Not— _bothering_ ,” he says tentatively. The labour to find the right words and then get them out there seems Sisyphean. “I can't stop thinking, what you did to me, to my hands—” He pauses. He is almost sure he knows what he wants to say next, but he is so scared and ashamed it feels like a physical barrier in his throat. He wants to fidget with his hand, but they are splayed on Magnus’ arms and he feels that if he lets go he will lose the last anchor to safety he has. He opens his mouth and closes it several times before any sound comes out. “I liked it. A lot. I'm still getting used to—all this,” he gestures vaguely with his hand, “and I'm not good with words concerning—well, _all this_ ,” he repeats the gesture with a bashful smile, “but you keep telling me to tell you when I like something, so yeah—I liked it.”

There. It’s done and he can’t take it back. It’s as terrifying as it is liberating. He fights the urge to close his eyes as he waits for Magnus to answer.

“You liked me restraining your hands?” asks Magnus, voice calm and seemingly unsurprised. There is no judgement, no disgust that Alec’s subconscious was expecting. Rationally, he knows it’s nothing huge and that Magnus loves and accepts him fully. Still, sometimes it feels like not every part of Alec’s brain has gotten the memo yet.

“Yes. It felt so good to think you have all this power over me. Like, _really_ good.” He shouldn’t be blushing about it. It wasn’t even close to the fastest he came apart under Magnus’ ministrations. And he knows how much Magnus can be as affected by him. There is nothing to ashamed of - one more of those phrases they share between them and keep close to their hearts. Still, he shoots Magnus a shy smile.

“Would you like me to do it to you again at some point?” murmurs Magnus with a kiss to his shoulder.

“Definitely,” he answers, more sure of himself this time.

“Then I will,” says Magnus, as if it is that easy, and maybe it is. Or maybe it is not, but Alec’s mind is ready to accept this for now. The residual tension in his muscles seeps out, finally letting the effects of an amazing orgasm to settle in. Magnus kisses him, deep and heavy with promise.

***

An evening comes to finish another hot summer day in New York. Alec has his head on Magnus’ lap, eyes closed, trying to enjoy the gentle classical music that fills the apartment and relax after the long day of work, but he can’t. His mind is racing, almost obsessively coming back to that evening some days ago. Magnus’ dexterous fingers threading through his hair are of no help at all, his skin burning at the contact and he is barely able to conceal the shudders that threaten to rock his body when Magnus finds a particularly sensitive spot.

He needs to talk about this, no, he _wants_ to talk about this, but once again, words are stuck in his throat. What if this isn’t a good moment? Magnus is reading, if Alec talked he would be bothering him, breaking him out of whatever world he is so engrossed in and--

He opens his eyes only to meet Magnus already staring at him, face gentle and soft with affection.

“You aren't reading,” he says, bringing his hand up to brush Magnus’ jaw.

“Indeed, I am not, my love. But it's not my fault I can't resist you, now is it?”

Alec sneers, but the smile doesn't leave his lips. He can do it. Those little reminders of how Magnus feels about him make him feel like he could fly; one little question is nothing by comparison. “Could you restrain my wrists again later tonight?”

He forces himself to study Magnus’ face as he waits for a response. There is shock, definitely, and he is at the loss of words, which is so rare, but none of that bothers Alec. He knows he should find how much he trusts Magnus with his heart alarming, but he doesn’t. It takes one glance at this noble for him to feel safe and at peace; he is tired of not letting himself enjoy it.

Magnus cups his face as he answers, “Yes, my love, of course,” and the serenity escapes Alec between one breath and the other. This is intense, this is urgent, this makes his head spiral out of control in the best way possible. The rush of adrenaline in his veins make the next words flow easily from his tongue.

“I've been thinking a lot about how I felt when you took control from me that night. Is there anything else similar that we can try doing?”

He knows there are. His search history can attest to that. He has no idea why he brings it up like that. He isn’t ashamed, not in front of Magnus at least. It seems like testing, but the idea of testing Magnus’... what? Truthfulness? Openness? Trust? All of those sound ridiculous as soon as it crosses his mind. He settles on giving Magnus space. To open a discussion with no demands, no expectations. Just asking an open question for Magnus to answer as he sees fit.

And the answer does not disappoint. “Yes, there is— quite a lot of things, actually.” Magnus smirks. “I didn't think it's something you would be interested in though.”

The second part throws Alec off though. “Why?” he asks as he gets up to sit on his heels, looking Magnus intently in the eyes.

“I—don’t know. Just—not all people are, I guess? But it's completely okay though!” he adds somewhat hastily, as if scared that Alec would misunderstand. “Would you like me to talk about what we can do?”

A shiver runs down Alec’s spine. “I would like that very much,” he grows and bites his lower lip. Magnus’ eyes flicker until he gives up and lets his glamour fall. His cat eyes are darker than usual, his pupils blown so much they could almost pass for human ones.

“Fuck, Alexander. Don’t do that if you want to just talk about sex,” he tries to keep his tone playful, but Alec has learnt to see through all of his facades by now. He knows that if he were to slowly lick his lips and bend his neck so he presented his neck rune in its full glory, it would take Magnus less than a heartbeat to sit in his lap and ravish him then and there.

“And we will need some sort of safeword… Or safewords, plural.”

“I’ve read about it, too.” He chooses to ignore the smug look on Magnus’ face. “But I don’t know, I find the colour thing a bit… weird? Like if I’m thrashing around and moaning and begging for you, why would I want you to stop and ask me about my colour?”

“Different things work for different people,” Magnus supplies gently.

“Yeah, yeah… But I want, I _need_ , to feel like I am at your mercy, that you have absolute power over me, and yes, I _know_ it’s actually the opposite,” he adds to make sure Magnus won’t butt in. “But I would like the illusion of that. Is that okay?”

“It is absolutely okay, Alexander. But I’m gonna need one thing in return.”

“What is it?”

“I need you to look me in the eye and promise that no matter what, no matter _why_ , if anything feels bad, uncomfortable, or stops working for you at any moment, you will stop the whole thing immediately. I need to be able to trust you with stopping on your own, swiftly and with no hesitation.”

“I promise you that. I promise I will never keep my discomfort from you during the scene.”

“Good.” He presses a kiss into Alec’s forehead. “Now, this is not done. We still need an emergency break of sorts.”

“I know,” he trails off and stares into the sparkling New York horizon. “Maybe we can stick with _orange_ and _red_ for now, though, and see if maybe something else comes to us that will work better?”

“That’s good, definitely.”

***

His skin itches as he lies naked in a completely empty room. Magnus left. It must have been no more than a few minutes since he did, but it feels like he is stuck there for centuries.

The air is warm, or at least it was when he undressed under Magnus’ careful scrutiny. It still was warm when he stretched himself out on the golden sheets for Magnus’ pleasure, and it was still warm when his nimble fingers tied silk scarves on his wrists and secured them at the bed posts.

He could open his eyes and look around but he doesn't want to. Magnus is not there so there is nothing worth seeing anyway. So he keeps them shut and tries to force himself not to obsessively listen out for steps in the hallway; he knows that Magnus could make sure he doesn’t hear him if he wanted to anyway.

He tries not to focus on his cock that now strains proudly between his legs. He was hard before he was even out of his jeans, the fantasies and possibilities filling his mind were enough to put him on edge. He can’t touch himself in any way, and he doesn’t think the thoughts would be enough to get him off untouched, but given how much they excite him, he would rather not test this theory. Technically, Magnus didn’t say anything on whether or not he is allowed to come before he is back, but he is sure he wouldn’t be too pleased about it.

His eyes fly open when he hears the door open. He can’t see much - Magnus turned off the lights and placed several flickering candles with a flick of his wrist before he left him - but he doesn’t need to see. There is no one else who could be standing there.

“Hello again, pretty boy,” Magnus growls. He stalks closer to the bed; the smile on his lips is downright predatory and Alec’s breath hitches. His eyes are unglamoured, sparkling in the sparse light. He changed when he was away. He now wears a dark fitted shirt with a mandarin collar, all of its shiny buttons fastened. _Wait_. Is it… It can’t be, now can it?

Alec doesn’t have time to dwell on that - Magnus’ soft hand finds its way to cup his jaw and the touch burns his skin and empties his mind. He _wants_ and he is going to _receive_ \- that thought alone sets him on fire.

“Such a pretty boy, all laid out for me. What will we do with that, huh?” he says as his hand moves lower, his thumb caressing the side of Alec’s neck. He uses that leverage to tip Alec’s head to the side. He hums in appreciation.

His hand travels further down, gliding across the furry expanse of Alec’s chest. The other one finds its way into Alec’s hair, combing through them and petting him. Alec moans when Magnus’ fingers tease his nipple. Fleeting, feather-like touch feels earth-shattering now.

“What would you have me do to you, pretty boy?” Magnus rakes his nails gently down his chest and Alec lets out a mewl. “You have to tell me if you want to get it.”

“Please, Magnus, touch me.”

“I _am_ touching you,” he mocks as he pinches the nipple viciously. Alec arches his back, straining against the restraints.

“Touch my cock, please, please, Magnus.”

“Oh yes… But do you think you earned that, pretty boy? You think you were good enough for me to have me jack you off?”

“Please, Magnus, I need— I will do everything for you, but please, _please-_ ”

Magnus bends over and puts his mouth on Alec’s abused nipple, wet and open. A scream tears from Alec’s throat - and up until now he thought screaming during sex was something that erotica writers made up. His tongue laps at the bud, sending waves of pleasure that teetered on the edge pain through Alec’s body. His hips keep buckling, futilely searching for friction, and Alec keeps screaming as the warmth of the tongue is replaced with hardness of the teeth.

He whines when Magnus takes his mouth away. He looks at him smugly, running his hand up and down his torso appreciatively.

“What do want, pretty boy?” he asks as if he expects Alec’s voice to still be working. Alec tugs at his ties, presents himself as good as he can, hoping Magnus will get the message, but to no avail. Magnus chuckles and repeats the question.

It takes Alec several tries before he can string some words together. “Touch my cock, please.” The words are barely audible, and come out so hoarse that Alec doesn’t recognize his own voice.

“Hmmm…” Magnus rubs at his goatee, eyeing Alec up and down. “Yes, I think you deserve that now.”

The first touch makes Alec scream so hard he feels tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. It’s blinding, overwhelming pleasure. Magnus’ practiced, perfect tugs make the heat inside him rise and fill him, making his muscles strain and head spin. This feels so good, too good, and Alec feels like he is about to die in the most delightful way possible. He gasps greedily for air. It’s so good and he is so _close_ and he can tell how _delicious_ it will be—

“Ah-ah-ah! I didn’t say you can come, now did I?” Magnus’ hand grips the base of his cock like a vice, stopping the orgasms right on the precipice. “You’re lucky I feel generous tonight so I helped you. This won’t happen again. Do you understand?” Alec whines. “Pretty boy, _do you understand_?” Alec thrashes his head in what is hopefully a nod. “You want to come, you ask me very, very nicely. Don’t you dare forget that. Now, again.”

His slow tugs are excruciating and heavenly. Each time he swipes his finger over the slit, Alec sees stars. The tension that loosened when he stopped is back, even stronger this time around. Every muscle in Alec’s body is pulled to its limit, ready to snap at any moment. “Magnus, please, let me come, please, I need to come,” he babbles on, and hopes at least half of the sounds he makes form actual words.

“No.” The word falls on him like a whip, Magnus’ hand is all but gone. Alec can no longer see through the tears that pooled in his eyes. His lungs feel too small for the amount of oxygen he need to breathe. This is too much, too much, he can’t—

“One more time, pretty boy.” No, he can’t take it, he will lose his mind, he can’t do it. “I know you have it in you,” he adds and Alec whines. Then, the hand is back, the pace as slow and rhythmic as previously. Alec’s thighs are twitching hard and his feet are painfully curled.

A litany of _please_ s falls from his mouth. He is not sure what he is pleasing for anymore, just that he needs and Magnus can give it to him, will know what to give to him.

Magnus bends down and presses a dirty, open kiss on his lax mouth. He tries to participate, but he doesn’t have the energy for much. He moans when Magnus’ tongue tastes his mouth and when Magnus bites his lower lip so hard.

Magnus kisses his way to Alec’s ear, his hand still working on Alec at the same excruciating pace. He licks and bites the lobe, something he knows for a fact Alec is defenceless against, drawing out even more sounds from Alec, who is barely holding on. He is just about to start begging again, when Magnus’ husky voice whispers in his ear, “Come for me, Alexander.”

And so Alec does. He screams, he moans, shudders and coils against his restraints. It seems to last forever, the pleasure blinding him to the rest of the world.

He comes back to Magnus pressing kisses to his forehead and running his fingers through Alec’s hair in a soothing gesture. The scarves are no longer binding him, but he finds himself too weak to move his arms to bring Magnus closer. His throat is dry and sore.

Magnus leans back to look at him. He uses his thumb to rub off the tears on Alec’s cheeks. His eyes are soft and gentle and so full of love Alec doesn’t know what to do with it.  A shiver rocks his body, and then another. “You did so well, Alexander, you were so good for me,” Magnus whispers and rubs Alec’s shoulders. A quiet whine escapes Alec’s mouth. He manages to move one of his hands to catch Magnus’ and squeeze as hard as can. Magnus squeezes back.

He takes away the other hand and flicks his wrist in a complicated way. A tell-tale warmth on his stomach means Magnus got him cleaned up. “Come on, up, up, Alexander.” He finds himself help up and then put down on one of Magnus’ heavenly pillows. Something cold is pressed to his lips. “Drink this, please.”

“Cuddle me,” he manages to croak.

“In a moment, Alexander, I swear. Drink, please.” Alec takes two gulps of perfectly cool water that does wonders to his abused throat. He is about to beg for cuddles once again when Magnus takes away the glass, but he doesn’t have to. In a blink, he is right next to him in the bed, pulling him close. Alec wants to grumble about that bloody shirt that shields Magnus’ divine chest from him, but he can’t. “I’mma nap a little, I think,” he murmurs instead as he feels sleep calling upon him. “Will you hold me?”

“Of course, dearest,” says Magnus as he pulls him even closer, holding him safely in his strong arms. _It’s so safe and peaceful and perfect_. It’s the last thing Alec thinks before he falls asleep.

***

When Alec wakes up, he is sore. Incredibly, absolutely sore in a way he, despite his years of tough training, didn’t think possible until that moment. He is acutely aware of what seems like each and every fibre of his muscles individually. He groans when he tries to stir.

“Welcome back, darling,” Magnus whispers into his hair. He doesn’t seem to have moved since Alec passed out, still pressing Alec tight against his chest.

“How long was I out?” Alec croaks. He barely recognizes his voice. He cranes his neck uncomfortably to look up at Magnus.

The man smiles at him with so much love on his face Alec doesn’t know what to do with himself. “A little over an hour, I think. How are you feeling?”

“Good, for the most part. But also sore. I’m so fucking sore, Magnus, I’ve never been this sore in all my life.”

“Do you want me to heal it?” asks Magnus, his blue magic already pooling at his fingertips.

“Yes, but—not all of it?” He shouldn’t’ be blushing in front of Magnus, not anymore. Definitely not after tonight. “I still want to feel it, have it as a reminder of how amazing you were to me, just… Not this much?”

“Of course, darling.” A wave of warmth washes through Alec’s body, soothing and relaxing his muscles, leaving just a wisp of the dull pain that made Alec feel heavy and sated.

He snuggles closer to Magnus, pressing his face into his shoulder. “Thank you,” he murmurs into the smooth skin.

Magnus speaks again before Alec can be lulled back into sleep. “Alexander, I still feel like I need to ask. Was it… okay?”

“Was what okay?” He doesn’t understand; he stretches his neck to look at Magnus again.

“What we did, the scene. After you passed out and now when you woke up in such pain, I can’t help but be scared. Of hurting you, of taking advantage of you, of thousands of other things I would rather die than do to you.”

“Magnus,” he says, cupping Magnus’ face with his hand, making sure they look each other in the eye, “it was amazing. I can never explain how grateful I am that you agreed to that. I’ve never felt as safe as I feel with you. I will tell you if it ever gets too much for me. But it didn’t today. Trust me just like I trust you, please.”

“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus gasps. “Of course, my love, of course.”

They press as close as they can, Alec hiding his face in Magnus’ shoulder. It is warm and safe; he doesn’t even notice when the exhaustion pulls him back under.

**Author's Note:**

> this is the start of my new series, let me know how you liked it!  
> unbeta's  
> kudos and comments make my day!


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